The Elliptical Woman

There's a woman at my gym. We have the same workout schedule. She makes me laugh. She also makes me think - about myself.  

This gal makes me laugh because as she rides the elliptical, she also watches television, texts (boy-howdy she has a lot to say) and listens to music. All. At. The same. Time. She's a vision and a marvel and generally has me shaking my head just a bit as I move behind her doing my lunges. How can she be present to anything when she is doing so many things?

When I see the elliptical woman doing her thing, I reflect on the power of being present and the costs of not being so. But as much as she has me smiling and reflecting - if I'm being honest, I'm also judging.  

I put time and attention into my practice of being present. It brings me a ton of joy and creativity. I'm also blessed to help my clients discover for themselves the gifts that can come from creating their own practices. When I see someone seemingly not being present (don't get me started on folks who walk on the sidewalk texting at the same time. Grrr...), I can get a bit triggered.  

And so in between sets of lunges, as Elliptical Woman does her thing, I silently climb up on my pedestal and do my thing. I make myself better. And in that instant, I become not present.  

I cannot be present and judge at the same time.  

Judgement of another takes me out of my present moment thrusting me deeply into my thoughts as I create a story about that other. I didn't see this fully until today. 

This morning my friend, Regena, called to chat. I just love Regena. As I picked up the phone, I did a quick survey of my apartment and in doing so, I had to answer the phone with a laugh - the kind of laugh that comes when you've just busted yourself.  

As I picked up the phone to be with my friend, this is what that my survey showed: I had the vacuum out, the Dustbuster out as well (2 different projects were underway), my bed was half made, my vitamins were open but hadn't been taken yet, I had my iPad on Facebook where I was chatting with a friend, my cell phone was on and in the middle of a text and I was now was about to start an "intimate" conversation with someone I deeply care about.  

Hold up. Really? I could feel the elliptical woman shaking her head from the gym down the hall.  

As I moved into my conversation, I also moved into a chair. I sat down. I gave myself over fully to the conversation. I chose to be present with my friend. It was glorious. I was truly able to hear and see while simultaneously feeling deeply heard and seen. 

We're all perfect and we all need work.  

This morning, I was humbled in a sweet, funny way. I was shaking my head again but this time at myself and at the sheer contrast and humor of it all. In an instant my multitasking diva from the gym had gone from cautionary tale to bodhisattva, from object of judgment to reflective surface; a mirror in which to see myself and my own tendencies towards not being present. My judgement of her was actually a clarion call to see myself.  

This morning, I had also begun to redefine my relationship to judgment. Judgment is now a beacon pulling (or pushing) me back into presence.  

When the judger shows up; when I catch myself making another wrong or bad, I can pause and look inward. When the judger shows up, I know there is a wound that wants to heal. When the judger makes his appearance, I know that there is something within me that is begging for my attention. Judgment is a loyal friend always pointing me back to the present moment. 

If I'm busy living your life, how can I be living mine? 

Now when I see the elliptical woman, I will smile a smile of gratitude. Gratitude because Life knew I wanted to be more present and ever the intuitive casting director, Life asked the elliptical woman to play a role in helping me to achieve my desire. Always eager to play along, the elliptical woman said, "hell yea!" read her lines, showed up on time and stepped into her role as mirror for me.  

Now instead of channeling low-level snarkyness in the direction of my mirror-friend, I shall channel love. And, after all, isn't that what the world needs now?  

xoxo JD 

Photo by Fallon Michael   

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